Four Things I Learnt While Dating an ENFP

Personal Ruminations from an INTJ-ENFP Relationship

It’s interesting. Proponents of the MBTI characterisation of humans will talk about how the INTJ-ENFP pairing is so compatible. In fact, just about every MBTI or personality website will gush about how compatible the INTJ-ENFP pairing is.

Four months into dating an ENFP, and I do concur with the compatibility. The conversations are fun. We can share brain dead moments together. We can develop exciting ideas together.

BUT.

If relationships were perfect, there’d be no demand for marriage counselling/dating services.

Unfortunately, we humans aren’t perfect, and therefore there will be a lot of friction and conflict. What I see may not be necessarily be what she sees, and what she sees may not necessarily be what I see. We may both be speaking English, but the interpretation of what is being said can come out completely different.

THE FIRST THING I LEARNT

Compatibility is necessary to gauge the probabilities of entering a deeper relationship, but is not itself the main criterion for evaluating the health of a relationship.

With compatibility (or chemistry), we may be able to hit it off right away. But does it mean…